kethrai's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fuck EZ Up and the Tent Stake They Rode In On Okay, children... remember the tent that leaked? Well, this is the story. Keep in mind a) I have worked customer service,so my standards are HIGH b) we had intended to waterproof the fuck out of the tent anyway and c) I once got a signed, handwritten note of apology out of the PHONE COMPANY. So on Monday night after the faire, I stagger to the computer, and fire off a nastygram to the EZ Up company, not expecting much. 1.5 hours later, I get a little Office Drone on the phone asking for me. OD: Is this Kethrai? Me: Yes it is.... OD: Hi, this is Office Drone from the EZ Up company? You sent us a complaint? Was the tent leaking along the seams, or was it coming straight through? Me: It was coming straight through, and I certainly do have a complaint.... OD: Well, they're weather-resistant, not weatherproof. Me: Weather resistant means they should at least put up a struggle. This one leaked like a sieve without even putting up a fight. OD: Well, ma'am, they're weather resistant. Me: Look, ma'am, this leaked straight through. OD: Well, I can have it shipped here and our QC department can look at it. Me: Exactly how long will this take? OD: Um, I can't guarantee it, ma'am. Me: Guarantee what? OD: The time it will take. Me: Well, I have a show in three weeks, which I bought the tent specifically for. Can you have it back in three weeks? OD: I can't guarantee it. Me: But I need it for three weeks from now. OD: Well, QC has to look at it.... it's procedure..... Me: So you're telling me that you'll take your own bloody time so that I cannot utilize the tent for the purpose I bought it for. OD: (getting flustered) I can't guarantee the time.... Me: So I should just waterproof it myself, you're saying? Can't you sent me a top, and then I can send you mine to eval? OD: Ma'am, that will void your manufacturer's guarantee. And we have procedures.....We can't send you a new top while we eval yours. Me: Well, I see that we're at an impasse. My guarantee means absolutely squat to you in light of my need of the tent for a show. Look, sweetie (by now she's trying to overtalk me) YOU will NOT INTERRUPT ME. I was writing to let you know that your product stank and I will not be recommending it to other crafters. Your guarantee means I will be deprived of the tent during the events I bought it for. So the way I see it, you owe me a letter of apology or a new tent top, and I don't care which. OD: Um.....(long silence, searching for supervisor. Supervisor obviously declines to speak to the raving bitch on the other end of the line. She comes back.) OD: Do you still live at XYZ Address in New Hampshire? Me: Yes, I haven't moved in the hour and a half since I sent you that email. OD: Zip code blah blah blah? Me: Nope, that hasn't changed in an hour and a half either. OD: Your letter will be in the mail in the morning. Me: Cool. I'll frame it and display it in my tent at EVERY SHOW I GO TO THIS SUMMER. There was more bleating about procedures, but that should give you the sense of it. Her first mistake was not apologising immediately....and she was trying to overtalk me during the whole encounter. Don't but don't, do that to me.....not when I have a problem with you. I'm really, really kind to slow grocery store clerks, to make up for these encounters.... That was three weeks ago, now. I still haven't gotten my letter of apology. Fuckers. 6:45 p.m. - 2002-07-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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